“Write a more compelling first line and I’ll read your article!” was one Facebook comment on my post about first lines. Point well taken. Could I have spruced up my first couple of lines? Certainly. Do I intend every blog post to be a fine crafted work of art and a juggernaut of intellectual persuasion? Nope. Ain’t got time. I’m too busy trying to write fiction.
Nevertheless, readers did have things to say about this list. But first, here are the answers for my previous post on first lines.
- “No! I don’t want the mangosteen.” Anderson Lake leans forward, pointing. — The Windup Girl – Paolo Bacigalupi
- The first thing I can remember in this life is my father driving his white ox, Endurance, to the sky burial platforms. — Green – Jay Lake
- Veldt to scrub fields to farms to these first tumbling houses that rise from the earth. — Perdido Street Station – China Mieville
- Call me Dodd. — It Came from Del Rio – Steven Graham Jones
- I’d been waiting for the vampire for years when he walked in the bar. — Dead in Dixie – Charlaine Harris
- The great revelations of my adult life began with the shouts of a lost soul in my neighborhood breakfast joint. — A Dark Matter – Peter Straub
- Manfred’s on the road again, making strangers rich. — Accelerando – Charles Stross
- Dammit, he was nearly out of gas. — Night of Demons – Tony Richards
- “Here they come!” — Fires of Freedom – Jerry Pournelle
I picked nine books at semi-random, meaning that I thought they would give a broad spectrum to look at, from authors relatively new like Stephen Graham Jones all the way to Grand Master Peter Straub. I should reiterate that I haven’t read any of these books yet. So let’s start there.
Based on the strength of these first sentences, which would I pick up and read first?
- The great revelations of my adult life began with the shouts of a lost soul in my neighborhood breakfast joint. — A Dark Matter – Peter Straub. This one has scope, character, poignancy, and location, all in one sentence. Great revelations, lost souls, and breakfast joint build immediate intrigue. This one was a favorite with other readers as well.
- I’d been waiting for the vampire for years when he walked in the bar. — Dead in Dixie – Charlaine Harris. Sounds like a pulpy noir vampire novel coming, implying persistence and grit in the narrator.
- “Here they come!” — Fires of Freedom – Jerry Pournelle. Could be a battle coming! Whatever is happening, whoever ‘they’ are, it sounds dramatic. I’m in.
- Dammit, he was nearly out of gas. — Night of Demons – Tony Richards. An immediate problem that must be resolved. Tension from being out of gas.
- The first thing I can remember in this life is my father driving his white ox, Endurance, to the sky burial platforms. — Green – Jay Lake. Intriguing for its sky burial platforms and an ox named Endurance.
- Manfred’s on the road again, making strangers rich. — Accelerando – Charles Stross. My personal preference is always skeptical of present tense, but there is a certain tension or resentment in Manfred.
- Call me Dodd. — It Came from Del Rio – Steven Graham Jones. Short, sweet, punchy, but lacking much dramatic hook.
- “No! I don’t want the mangosteen.” Anderson Lake leans forward, pointing. — The Windup Girl – Paolo Bacigalupi. We have a character, and an unusual fruit (at least in the U.S.), but turning one down is not particularly dramatic. I hope more is coming.
- Veldt to scrub fields to farms to these first tumbling houses that rise from the earth. — Perdido Street Station – China Mieville. A pretty description, and Mieville is known for his lush prose, but I don’t get much drama here.
Again, I haven’t read any of these yet. Some of them are authors I love; some of them are authors I want to try. Some of these books have been nominated or won major awards. Some of them friends recommended to me.
The thing to remember is that novels have a little more leeway. Readers don’t expect to be hooked until after a page or two. But every story has to start somewhere.
Tell me what you think.